The first fall semester took some getting used to because everything was new.
Then spring semester was 18 class hours of full-on craziness.
Summer semester was jam-packed with nine hours that I thought I might not get through.
And now this final semester, with only two classes, was supposed to be my easiest. So why do I feel like I’m taking it all in from the outside, rather than actually taking part and absorbing it all? Why is it pushing me harder than any of the semesters before, even though they were arguably “harder” in every objective sense?
Obviously, Granny’s passing has something to do with that. And, I think the fact that those two classes couldn’t be scheduled on just two days plays a part. I’m on campus four days a week, never home before eight, and often closer to nine, so I always feel like there’s no real time for homework or studying, and that I’m always running just a little bit behind, even though I spend almost every lunch hour doing school work.
And I had a mid-term tonight that I certainly didn’t feel prepared for. Honestly, after the fact, I think I did okay—maybe even pulled out an A, though it will surely be far from acing it.
Oh, and I’m not sure I’ve mentioned it, but I’m considering taking a couple of classes next semester, too, which I think also has something to do with why I haven’t just relaxed and gone with the flow. I really do feel ready to be done with this chapter of life, but I’ve got scholarship money sitting in my account, ready to pay for two more classes. It seems shameful to let it go to waste, when there is always something new and exciting to learn.
Mostly, though, with everything combined, I’m just tired. I thought it would be such a simple semester, full of fun and excitement as I neared my graduation. So far, it hasn’t really been that, but there’s still a couple more months to go. I’m not giving up yet.