“Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace.” ~ Victor Hugo
It’s a strange pattern I seem to have slipped into. When I’m sitting on the couch—watching TV, doing homework, writing a blog post—I don’t have any trouble sleeping. In fact, when it’s the end of a long day, like today, I often can’t stay awake. During my lunch break, if I don’t have any homework to do, I can sit in my chair at my desk, close my eyes, and grab a few minutes of rest. But when I’m lying in my bed, I toss and turn and pray for sleep.
Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Really, though, it’s easy to understand why it’s so easy for me to drift off when I have those moments of stillness: I’m exhausted.
For months now—most of the year, really—I’ve always had something to do. Very little down-time, very little time for me. The pace has been taking its toll for a while.
But in the couple of weeks since my grandma’s passing, sleep has been backwards: when I should be comfortable and ready to rest, I toss and turn; but when I am focused on something else, sleep claims me easily—even when I might not want it to. I’m sure there’s a message there somewhere, something beyond the idea that I should just slip on my pajamas, stretch out on the couch with my laptop nearby, and go with the flow. But I’m not giving up on setting things right, so it’s time to slip off to bed. Good night.