Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Getting Through


Fair warning, that as far as television-related posts go, this one is going to be a bit tangential.  But I suppose the thing about Tube Day Tuesday is that it can be anything that springs from TV, even if it does stray a bit from its origination.  Besides, it’s my theme, and my blog, so I can use whatever rules I want, right?  Absolutely.

At any rate, I was watching tonight’s episode of NCIS while doing more research for my final paper while also riding on my fitdesk bike (I can be quite the multitasker when I put my mind to it), when I happened to totally focus on a line from Ziva.  The storyline concerned a teenage girl who had seen her father murdered as he was trying (unsuccessfully) to stop her best friend from being kidnapped.  At any rate, the girl was talking to Ziva about dealing with the loss of her dad, and Ziva told her that while you get over the loss of things, when it comes to losing loved ones, “you don’t get over; you get through”. 

Boy, that really hit home.  While I’ve lost several people important to me throughout my lifetime, none were more important than my mom, and I realized long ago that it was a loss I would never get over.  I think until you lose someone that integral to your life, you really don’t recognize the truth of those words—that they aren’t just hyperbole, but excruciatingly literal. 

In the months since his dad died, Brian has remarked several times, including just last week, that it seemed strange not to call him for their regular Sunday afternoon conversation, and he said it in a way that implied he thought he should be more adjusted by now.  I told him that I still have moments where I think, “Oh, I’ll have to tell Mama about that”, and then quickly realize that I won’t be able to pick up the phone and share whatever the piece of news.  She’s been gone twenty years, and I still have those thoughts.  He seemed surprised by that.  Honestly, I remember the time when I was surprised by it, too.  When I was like Brian, and thought I should have adjusted to the loss, and wondered if maybe I was just a little bit crazy.  But Ziva is right; that’s not the kind of loss you can get over; you just have to get through.

A few years ago, a friend exposed me to a quote by JM Barrie that has become one of my favorites, and I think of it often, especially when I’m particularly missing my mom, like during the holidays.  Mr. Barrie said, “God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.”  I like that idea, and I like being able to conjure up roses even on the bitterest of days, because it helps to get through.  And, I like a television show that sometimes touches your heart even more deeply than it probably intended.

yello rose 11-28-12







Image courtesy of Victor Habbick at





TV Tuesday 9-19-12





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