Lessons Not Quite Learned

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

There are an awful lot of things I miss about my mom, but one of the biggest is that I never really got the opportunity to learn how to be a mom.  My son was not even a year old when she passed away, and in the past twenty one years there have been about a million questions I’ve wanted to ask.

Of course, like all parents, I second-guessed just about every decision I ever made in raising a child, just hoping that loving him and always being guided by wanting what was best for him would be enough.  And, of course, like all parents, I never felt that it was.

Long ago, I was foolish enough to think that if I ever made it through childhood, things would get easier—if I could just get him “grown up”, then most of my work would be done.  After yet another painful conversation with my grown son today, I realized anew how wrong I was.  And I realized again just how much I miss my mom.

Six Word Sloppiness

 

  

 

  Ugly game, but still a win.

Day One. Again.

So, I fell asleep on the couch last night (thankfully after submitting my homework assignment), and when I woke up about 2:30am, I immediately stumbled off to bed.  But, just as I was laying my head on my pillow, I remembered what I’d been doing just before I dozed off—loading up the Live Writer to create yesterday’s post. 

I almost got back out of bed to make my way back into the living room and write it up.  I knew exactly what I was going to say; how long could it possibly take?   But, the reality is, it would take at least half an hour, possibly longer if I got distracted at all.  That would make it at least 3:00 before I’d be back in bed, and by then I’d be wide awake again, with no guarantee that I’d go back to sleep quickly.  Since my alarm goes off at six, that seemed pretty risky.

So, sad as it was, I made the decision that my much-needed sleep was more important than continuing a daily blog post, so once again, my streak has ended.  I didn’t even make it a year.  (But about ten months, which is a personal best for me.)  I’m continually impressed with people who can manage to post day after day, year after year.  People like Roger.  It’s because he’s more organized than I.  (Probably they all are, but I can’t say that for sure.)  Anyway, he’s been at it for something like five years now.  That really is impressive.

I may never make five years, but I will begin again today and see where it leads. 

Weight Loss Wednesday, September 4

 

Well, I got up this morning and forgot it was Wednesday, so I forgot to weigh.  These short weeks really mess with my head, though, as I said to someone earlier today, that sort of confusion is a small price to pay for a three day weekend, and I’d gladly do it more often.

Anyway, while I didn’t think to step on a scale, I can say that I don’t feel like I’ve lost any weight this past week.  In fact, I may have even gained a pound or two, judging by the way I feel.  Of course, not to get into TMI, but it is just about TOM, so that could be making a difference. 

On the upside, my step count is becoming more consistent.  I mean, sure, I spent almost all of Sunday sitting on the couch watching TV, but other than that, I had a pretty good showing for the week, I think.  And, for what it’s worth, I still don’t regret Sunday.

 

	Steps	Activities
Wednesday	8,855
Thursday	6,476
Friday	8,767
Saturday	12,146	Football game; approx 1 mile walk from parking lot to stadium
Sunday	1,301
Monday	6,528
Tuesday	12,099	45 mins treadmill; 3.22 miles

A Note to A&E

 

   Only a few short months ago, I was telling you about The Glades and how much I enjoy it as perfect summertime viewing.  And only a few months before that, I mentioned that I’m not typically a fan of a season-ending cliffhanger.

  But over the weekend, I had a chance to get caught up on some of my DVR stockpile, including the last month or so of The Glades that I hadn’t yet seen, including the season finale.  And I have to say, though it ended with a cliffhanger, I didn’t get that normal feeling of annoyance that usually comes along, because I was totally unprepared for the cliffhanger we got.  Seriously, I gasped.  Now, let’s be honest: it was a season finale and the main characters were getting married; anyone who really thought everything would go off without a hitch hasn’t been watching enough television.  I know the score.  There was going to be trouble in paradise, and we were destined not to see a blushing bride walk down the aisle just yet.  But, the trouble I envisioned most certainly was not the trouble we got.  I was impressed.  As much as I truly love TV, it doesn’t surprise me much, so when it does, I hold those moments in a special place in my heart.   I’ll even forgive the cliffhanger; it was that good.

But I quit singing their praises today when I found out that A&E has cancelled the program.  WHAT?  First of all, I thought the show was getting pretty solid ratings.  I mean, not like blockbuster numbers or anything, but I thought it held its own.  Besides, it’s a really good show.  And have you looked at some of the other stuff that’s available on the network?  Trust me, The Glades really shines. 

But even if you’re not going to renew a show for a full season, and even if you can’t make that decision before airing a such a non-resolved episode, as a  network, you still have a responsibility to get your fans what they want.  And, in this case, what the fans want is not to leave poor Jim in his current predicament for all of eternity; we want at least a conclusion.  In a perfect world, A&E would change their mind and the show would come back for season five, but at the very least, they need to authorize a movie or a few episodes or something, that not only resolves the cliffhanger, but adequately wraps up the show as a whole. 

And I’m not alone; browse around the web and you’ll see that there a quite a few folks who are equally disappointed/frustrated/shocked that A&E would cancel a show on such a note.  There’s even been a petition started to bring it back to the air.  I don’t sign a lot of internet petitions, but I signed this one.   As spectacular as that cliffhanger was, it certainly is not the way I want to remember the show; I do not want to be left wondering.  Please, A&E, do the right thing.

Why Choose?

 

As I have undoubtedly told you before, often I like to browse around different sites to see what sorts of topic prompts I might run across or just to see what other folks are talking about.  One of the prompt places I like to visit is a random question generator.  I dropped by there this afternoon just to see if anything caught my attention, and the question was, “Would you rather be the most popular kid in school or the smartest kid in school?”  I didn’t really think much about it at first, but the idea sort of kept niggling around in my brain.  Maybe because I’d never been either one, it was an intriguing idea. 

Both seem to have their appeal, don’t you think?  The smartest kid in school never has to worry about passing an exam or whether or not the homework is correct.  That’s an awful lot of school stress they get to completely miss out on.  I mean, I get that the smart kids don’t just naturally know the things they know; they learned them by putting in some effort and attention, but with most of the really smart people I’ve known, they require far less effort and attention than I do, and they end up knowing a lot more, too.  Especially as I sit here knowing that I’ve still got a few pages I need to read before class tomorrow night, I kind of think being super-duper smart could come in handy.

On the other hand, while I was never even close to the smartest kid in school, I can admit that I was often considered a little bit “brainy”, and I know that learning does come easier to me than it does to some others.  I’m lucky in that regard, even if I’m really not super-duper smart.  But when you’re a kid, being considered “brainy” by the other kids isn’t always a good thing.  In the hierarchy of the schoolyard, people passing tests and not worrying about homework come in a long way below football players and cheerleaders.  The popular kids have lots of friends and they always get invited to parties and asked out on dates.  And, the sad reality is, if they’re popular enough, it doesn’t really seem to matter if they pass their tests or not.  There were a lot of days in my childhood when thought it would be much cooler to be even a little bit popular instead of a little bit smart. 

By the time I was in high school, though, I’d mostly given up that idea, having recognized that a large number of popular people seemed to be not only very superficial, but also very phony.  I have never had much patience for those who try to present themselves in a certain way just to be accepted.  Because, really, what good does it do to have an army of friends if none of them really know you?  To have people with you day and night without being able to talk to them honestly?  There’s no benefit to that at all.

So, yeah, maybe being the popular kid and the smart kid both have their advantages, but—like most things—they’ve got their disadvantages, too.  So, if you ask me which I’d rather be, I’d have to say neither.  Or both.  I don’t really want to be lumped into any category that may or may not truly represent me, but I wouldn’t mind being both a smart and popular kid—someone who makes good grades and still manages to do homework between the parties and the dates.  I don’t know what you’d call a person like that, but I’d hope maybe they’d be called “friend”. 

Making the Most—and Least—of the Weekend

 

 

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”

                                                   ~Sydney J. Harris   

 

 

 

 

Image courtesy of Ohmega1982 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

Every once in a while, even when there’s stuff that you ought to be doing, I think it’s more beneficial to spend the day doing nothing.  You know, looking back over that sentence, I think maybe it should say, “especially when there’s stuff that you ought to be doing”.  Honestly, that’s precisely the time it’s most important to take a step back and regroup.

Lately, I am really beginning to feel the strain of always having something to do.  Deep down, I’m glad that I front-loaded my classes so that this final semester only requires six hours, but I am also really beginning to wish that I’d had an actual summer break.  A new job while carrying nine hours over summer semester (which followed a jam-packed spring semester of eighteen hours) really wore me down, and a couple of weeks between summer and fall just didn’t let me wind down much.  Add to that trying to launch the Paralegal Student Association, and also trying to figure a way to stay involved with PTK, and I am beginning to feel stretched far too thin. 

So, even though I’ve got a couple of chapters I need to read, an assignment that needs doing, and a bunch of PSA stuff that needs sorting out, those things didn’t get done today.  Instead, I slept in this morning, snoozed a little on the couch this afternoon, had cereal for lunch and a simple tuna and crackers for dinner, and worked my way through a whole bunch of programming piled up on the DVR. (I’m all caught up now with The Glades, Rizzoli and Isles, and Perception, and hope to finish up with Longmire and maybe one other show before I have to jump back on the treadmill Tuesday morning.) 

Not that I never take time for myself even when I should be doing other things, but then I’m usually overcome with guilt and end up staying up far too late to finish up the things that needed doing, thereby undoing any possible benefits of the relaxation time.  But not today.  Today was totally a mental health day, and I’ve got zero guilt.  I might even do it again tomorrow.