Part of Me

I need to write something.  I’m not sure what (and I’m guessing this post won’t cut it), but something. 

In this year of trying to reclaim control of my life, I still haven’t made time for one of the most essential parts of me.  I’m continuing on my weight loss journey (down 34 pounds and over 15 inches), but that’s not the only important part of me.

I’m also trying to get myself back on the right track at work—staying motivated and putting my heart into things again—but that’s not all of me, either.

So, maybe I need to re-commit to updating this blog more frequently. Or the other that I sometimes play with, which is about my other passion, television.  Maybe that will be a start.

But I know I have to do something, because in a year that’s supposed to be about me, I still feel like I’m missing one of the most important parts.

Making Progress

I’m still working on a better (or at least thinner) me.  Yesterday I hit the 25 pound mark.  It’s taken me just over 11 weeks to lose that much, but I’m mostly pleased with my progress.  Of course I could wish it would go faster, or that there was an easier way of reaching my goal—one that didn’t include giving up my beloved Sonic Coke, for instance—but the truth is, faster is not always better, and the easy way is rarely the right way.  So I’ll keep chugging along, counting calories, eating more fruit and less donuts, and saving an ice cold Coke for really special occasions.

You can’t go back again

Some folks—my mom included—seem to have the knack for holding a family together.  You know the type:  they’re the glue that binds everyone and everything.  Gatherings are usually at their homes and at their request.  No one would think of staying away, even if the scheduling isn’t just right, and everyone has a good time while they’re there.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot this week, as my family tries to work out our plans for Thanksgiving dinner.  For a variety of reasons—most having to do with trying to maintain some sort of family peace—we’ve decided to go out this year, rather than gather at anyone’s home.  And, scheduling is proving very difficult—so much so that about half of us apparently won’t be able to make it Thursday.  We’re going to spread some of the festivities into Friday, but even that won’t let everyone gather at once, or even over the course of the weekend.  And the part that bothers me the most is that it doesn’t seem to bother anyone else.  Clearly, of all the many things I learned from my mom, how to be the family glue was not among them.  It makes me sad.  I want the days when things were simpler and family traditions were important to everyone. 

But the saddest thing of all is that I know we can’t ever go back.

Still Alive

Yeah, so my grand plan for weekly updates to this blog seems to have failed miserably.  I’d blame it on the trials and tribulations of RL, but that excuse gets so boring.

However, updates or not, I am glad to say that I have continued with my improved fitness/weight loss regime.  Now, granted, I’m a bit behind goal in the actual weight loss arena, but I’m still working on making “less bad” choices, and still slowly losing not just weight, but inches. 

I’ve started the Couch to 5K program—though I’m pretty sure the plan is a bit aggressive and it’ll take me a few extra weeks to reach the 5K milestone, but that’s okay.  Slow is fine with me.

In terms of my daily movement (not exercise, just normal walking around), I’ve increased my steps so that I’m up to a minimum of two miles of walking per day.

And, my first real test came today: first home game of the football season.  I am extremely glad to report that I did not feel like I was gasping for air by the time we reached our seats.  Now, granted, I was still pretty hot, and it was definitely an exertion, but it was easier than it was last year, and that’s been one of my underlying measuring sticks for this whole program.  I’m hoping by the time I attend the final game of the season it will be easier still.

Onward and upward (or downward, if we’re talking about the reading on the scale!), because I am still alive and kicking.

Meh.

Last week was a static week in terms of the weight loss. Not surprising, really. I let too many other things consume my attention and my energy and slipped back in to bad eating habits and practically no exercise. What with a couple of graduations this week, an ailing grandmother, and a ton of stuff to do at work, it will take some true diligence not to let the same thing happen this week. I'm trying to break into a new cycle of living, not keep slipping back into old ones. Wish me luck.

Life and stuff

Three weeks in, and I've already fallen off on my commitment to at least weekly posts. Still, it occurs to me that when I began this blog way back in the day, it was supposed to be about whatever was on my mind, not a single topic. And now that I'm on my quest to make some changes physically, I don't think I should give up on that idea and only write about the weight loss saga. So here's some other stuff that's been going on, and maybe just a hint at why I've been distracted from the blog.
My grandmother has been ill for about two months now. Not like life-threatening, hooked-up-to-life-support ill or anything, but just an ongoing illness that we haven't been able to shake. She's elderly, so she stayed with me for the first three weeks, and then we thought she was mostly on the mend, so she went back home, but the family has still been preoccupied with checking in on her, taking her to doctor appointments, etc. Monday, we had to admit her back to the hospital for IV medications, and it looks like they'll need to keep her for about a week or so. Kind of crappy, but if that's what it's going to take to get her better, then that's what we'll do.
I think I mentioned earlier that I was under the weather myself. Well, that's still wearing me down. I refilled the antibiotics and will hopefully completely kick the crud soon.
Work. Most everyone has a job, and it's rarely because we want to work, so I figure everyone understands that just dealing with work can be stressful, annoying, tiring, and just plain sucky. Enough said.
Last week, tornados moved through the area. Fortunately, we had no damage, even though the closest one was just about four miles up the road to the west, and the next was maybe ten miles or so to the east. We were lucky. However, we did lose power for a few days. After not quite twenty-four hours, we broke down and bought a generator, just to get some essential services back. Unfortunately, we're on a well rather than city water, so the essentials didn't include running water. But now that we're through it, husband is on a quest to figure out the best way to get power to the pump so that we will be better prepared in the future. Just dealing with all that consumed a few of my days.
Then there's the kid. He's supposed to graduate high school next week. I say 'supposed to' because while he only needs one credit hour to complete his requirements, he's failing the class he needs. (He's failing a couple of others, too, but I've honestly quit worrying about those.) It's frustrating to watch him make bad decisions that could impact his whole future, especially when his only answer to why he does anything seems to be, "I'm 18; it's my life." Kids. I'm not sure when they realize the sort of hell they put parents through, but I think it's not until they have kids of their own. I mean, I gained a lot of maturity the older I got, and I could intellectually look back at some of the things I'd done as a young person and recognize that it was probably not a walk in the park for my parents, but I think I had to become a mother to really understand. Too bad. Life could be a lot easier on a lot of people if that insight could be gained a little sooner.
But, even in the midst of all that, the quest for more physical fitness goes on. I'll admit, it doesn't go on with quite the gusto I'd be able to generate without some of the drama, but it does go on. After three weeks, I've lost a total of six pounds and about four inches over various parts of the body. I could wish for something slightly more dramatic, but at this rate, I'll more than meet my goal, and that's the whole point. Slow and steady wins the race, as my mom used to say. Probably another thing I didn't listen to at first, but it's never too late to learn.

Week One: Done

It's been seven days since I vowed I was making some physical changes in my life, and I've gotten through the first week on track.  Still under the weather today, so no exercising again (I'm hoping the antibiotics will kick in soon), but I'd still consider it a success.

This morning, the scale shows 4.5 pound loss-- yay, me!  Now, if you'll remember (as I certainly do) three of that was very recent gain from too much splurging, but I'll still take it.  Of course, at 1.5 pounds lost per week, I'll actually miss my goal by 4 pounds, but I'm pretty sure there'll be some weeks I can crank it up and lose two or three real pounds.  That is certainly my plan.

Oh, and I forgot to measure last week, so I've only just done that today.  We'll see how that goes, especially in my legs, which are totally untoned.  And, in addition to more activity, I've also gotten a pair of those Shape Up shoes, that are supposed to help tone you just by walking in them.  We shall see.

All in all, I'd consider this a good start.  On to week two.